Failure seems to be an absurd and abstract concept that could never apply to me in terms of academic performance until now. I failed in an exam, a drug exam, which will allow me to check medications at my unit. It is a bit of a shock to me because never before have I struggled to pass a test. It is hard to describe the “feeling”, I just feel flat at the moment. It is not really a significant test, but the mere fact that I failed in an exam is disappointing.
The last time I experienced failure was when I broke up with my four years relationship. I thought it was the end of the line for me but then my life changed in a positive way. Now, it is time to rekindle the feeling of dismay and to be able to experience failure once again in order for me to strive more to become better. This is the answer to my prayer. For months of living and working abroad, I have been feeling like I lost track of what I aspire to become. I don’t have that “passion” any more, where I become so focused on something to the point of being obsessed about achieving it. I became indifferent towards people and life in general. Now, I know that God has been listening after all, when I asked him to give me a purpose in life. He gave me failure, so that I will realize that I need to shut up because I’ve been whining like a baby and all my problems aren’t even a quarter of what others are experiencing. Definitely, this is a wake up call, a reality check that I have been over resting on my laurels and been locking myself up in my comfort zone.
Lessons learned. First, I will not drink the night before an exam. Second, I should stop over thinking. Third, this is not the end of the world.