Travels, Romance and Blues

Travels, Romance and Blues

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Mistakes after another. I never did learn anything. With matters of the heart, I couldn’t help but create something chaotic. I guess, I never have been that simple when emotions are at hand. It has never been my cup of tea. I always end up failing.

Just recently that I have visited the Philippines twice, and it was obviously impractical but it didn’t matter. I was smitten by love. It isn’t an everyday occurrence that I feel strongly¬†towards someone, so I decided to see her. Boarding on a plane and travelling to the other side of the world, I thought it was romantic. Throwing away anything rational and letting the moment take its turn, I was pretty impulsive.

I never like someone as this. She is different. I don’t usually open up to someone, but effortlessly, the walls came tumbling down. From someone who always have control, it didn’t sit well with me. I was naked. Everything is exposed. I couldn’t longer open up too long or else I will end up really hurt so I decided to stop. To detach, the thing that I always do. If you can’t fight then you could just run…

There are just so many things. Like I said she is different. She is home. She is the sum of everything that I want. If only that I could contain too much emotions, I will be willing to do everything to be with her. It is just that I am currently unstable and being tangled up with love. It isn’t a good formula to start with.

I still need to fix myself. By doing this, I need to focus on myself first. If I will step into love again, I want to be whole. I want to be the best version of myself when the time come that I will meet the person that is for me. I wish it is her but right now, circumstance doesn’t approve. We never know.

I don’t and will never regret. I learned so much from her and from the experience. I just want to say thank you to her. To the girl who made me believe that true love does exists, I want to say that you will always have a special place in my heart. I love you so much. Thank you for making me happy even though it was just for a short while…

I'm currently working in intensive care, where I handle most cases of post liver transplants and liver disease. Other than that, I like hanging out at the library, just being a total nerd all the time.


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