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Change – verb. to make or become different or to exchange one thing or another thing.

It is a big word for me that could hardly be fathomed. I guess I am a little bit resistant to change which pushes me to be curled into my own little rainbow shell. However, a series of events just unfolded unexpectedly and recently – which made me slightly dumbfounded. I began to wonder, is this life I am leading now real? or pretty much surreal? I guess that gives me an impression that my life could be a paradox. I just simply contradicts myself, and constantly doing it. I’ve been wanting change but I am resistant to change. Sometimes, I ponder if I am just over thinking things or I am simply insane?

I am quite torn between serenity and chaos, sanity and insanity, good and evil or I guess that makes my life bland – no taste, nothing. But now, my life is gradually changing which leaves me slightly afraid for the unknown to happen. The good side of such change is that I somehow experience overwhelming emotions which is a rare occurrence for me. But then again, I am grateful for this – the change that is happening. I just hope that I am going into the right direction because I tend to be gullible at times.

Whichever way I am going to, I will never have regrets. I will learn every piece of lesson along the way. What matters most is that I know I am changing for the better based on whatever rationalities I am imposing in every step of it. Right now, I just want to let things marinate for awhile and stop thinking for heaven’s sake. I just want my mind to be blank for once. Just once please.

I'm currently working in intensive care, where I handle most cases of post liver transplants and liver disease. Other than that, I like hanging out at the library, just being a total nerd all the time.


  1. The only thing constant in this world is change. Take a leap of faith, and accept changes thrown your way. Discover, take risks, be crazy and reckless, make stupid decisions. Later you will find out whether it’s worth it or not. What is there to lose anyway? The world is big and has a lot to offer. Soon you will be indispensable and unkabogable. Hahaha! You never know what’s waiting around the corner. Just keep safe missy. 😉

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