Looking back five years ago, and I could say damn I was pretty naive about what I was getting myself into. I didn’t know much about the lesbian world and never had any lesbian friends to guide me. I only had my ex, who left me without much orientation about the flight I just took en route to Lesbolandia. It was hell of a rough time yet I somehow survived, and now I feel obliged to help those curious girls out there. I would like to share some lesbian terminologies that could serve as your guide to be able to blend in the lesbian community. This isn’t much but I know that it could serve a purpose. Some of these terms are taken from 1989 Alyson Almanac’s Dictionary of Slang and Historical Terms and the rest from other sources.
Common Lesbian Terminologies:
Andro/Androgynous: A “unisex” lesbian (neither Butch or Femme).
Baby Dyke: A young, newbie lesbian (can you say “drama”?).
Beard: a “beard” is a person of the opposite sex who marries or dates a closeted lesbian or gay person to cover up their homosexuality.
Boi: For lesbians, a boi is a woman who is biologically female, but has a boyish appearance or presentation. A boi may be lesbian identified or s/he may be trans identified. For gay men a boi is a gay man who is boyish or young in appearance or identity.
Bisexual: A girl (or guy) who likes both girls and boys.
Blue Jeans Femme: A lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.
Bulldyke: The most masculine of Butch lesbians.
Bumper to Bumper: Vagina-to-vagina. Generally used in reference to two lesbians engaging in sex, or dancing, etc. Occasionally used in referring to gay men or heterosexual couples.
Butch: A masculine lesbian.
Cantonese Groin: A dildo. The term appears in a medieval novel, describing a plant used in China for this purpose.
Chapstick lesbian: A tomboy lesbian. Doesn’t quite fit the stud or femme description. Usually in between the two extremes. A lesbian who wears Chapstick rather than lipstick.
Dieseldyke: A super masculine lesbian who tends to drive trucks or other machinery.
Drag King: a drag king is a woman who dresses to look like a man, usually for performance. Drag kings are often lesbian, but not always.
Dyke: Another (less Femme) word for lesbian.
Femme: A feminine lesbian.
Futch: Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida who was one of the contestants on MTV’s Shot at Love with Tila Tequila coined the word “Futch.” She says the word describes someone who is neither feminine nor butch, but a cross between.
Genderqueer: No, that’s not a typo. It’s a word that means you don’t limit your gender identity to the typical man/woman archetype. For instance, maybe you feel like you’re both man and woman, or maybe you feel like you’re neither. Either way, it’s all good.
Gold star: A lesbian who’s never been with a man (a sometimes rare but worthy find).
Hasbian: A hasbian is a woman who used to identify as a lesbian and date women, but is now dating men.
Kiki: A term that was used in the lesbian bar culture of the 1950s and 1960s to describe someone who was neither butch nor femme. At that time, the bar culture was very much into roles and most women were pressured to choose either butch or femme.
Kissing Fish: Lesbians.
Lesbian: A women who is sexually and emotionally attracted to other women.
Lesbophile: A lesbophile is someone who loves or appreciates lesbians.
Lipstick lesbian: A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side
Lipstick Mafia: Group of (generally Femme) lesbians who either 1) work to recruit new lesbians into the lesbian community or 2) form a close-knit protective circle around members of their group of friends. Move over, Sopranos!
Lone star: A lesbian who has only had sex with one person in their life. Straight and bisexual people can be Lone Stars too.
LUG: LUG stands for “Lesbian until Graduation“. A LUG is a woman who experiments with women during her college years, but eventually decides she is straight and marries a man.
Luke: The coital fluid in a woman.
Missionary Work: An attempt by a gay man or lesbian to seduce a straight person of the same sex.
Molly Dyke: The more passive woman in a lesbian relationship or liaison.
Pansexual: A pansexual is someone who is attracted people of many genders. Also known as Omnisexual.
Pillow Queen: A girl who likes to receive sexually (but refuses to give in return).
Poppa: An underage lesbian.
Power Dyke: A Power Dyke is a lesbian who has gained a position of power, either within the LGBT community, or in the world at large. She could be the head of a non-profit agency, a politician or successful in business. Also known as Power Lesbian or a Suit.
Soft Butch: A lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.
Stem: A stem is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between “stud” and “femme.”
Stone Butch: A lesbian who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She does not like to be touched sexually
Stud: a dominant lesbian, usually butch.
Tit King: A lesbian attracted to women with large breasts.
Queer: Once considered a derogatory word, some people use this term to be all inclusive of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Warning: Some people still find this word offensive.
U-haul Lesbian: A girl who tends to move in fairly quickly with those she dates.
- Common Lesbian Slang And Terminology. Retrieved August 23, 2012. http://www.theotherteam.com/common-lesbian-slang-and-terminology/
- Label Me Lesbian: A Guide To Types Of Lesbians by Mayahuskee. Retrieved August 23, 2012. http://mayahuskee.deviantart.com/journal/Label-Me-Lesbian-A-Guide-to-Types-of-Lesbians-214218387