Life Is Quite A Paradox

Life Is Quite A Paradox

4 1935

It had been quite awhile since I updated this website, and in a span of just a month of cyber idleness, I had experienced plenty of things that were way beyond the normal routine I was accustomed to in real life. It all started with this website, and this damn curiosity I had for a long time about lesbians, that I went on an adventure that turned my life one hundred eighty degrees gayness. Hence, I see myself now as a  living validation of this famous line, “curiosity killed the cat”. Not being able to divulge information to my parents about my whereabouts, made the adventure – a real exciting one. It began with a conversation online with a girl (Unfortunately, I couldn’t mention her real name in here but she insisted the name Miss as an alias). There was a connection – which I consider a rare occurrence for me to be able to connect to people especially through online.  With that rare occurrence, it painted a little color to my black and white life. To cut the story short, next thing I know I was already in Cebu, then Tacloban, and then Manila. Indeed, a great adventure for me in the pursuit of lesbian knowledge – or a little bit of romance I guess.

In the middle of the busy life of Manila, I stepped out of the airport with Miss, with only a medium – sized luggage, carry on bag – which carried my laptop, and of course, the curiosity which gave me such courage to embark in this adventure of my lesbian existence. Oriented with the simple life of the province, I experienced many things for the first time that this city life could offer. [pullquote_right]It was an apparent transition from the green grass topped with huge branching trees of the province to the dusky black asphalt crisscrossing the towering buildings of Manila. [/pullquote_right]It was exhilarating, a bit synonymous to a curious girl who just lost her virginity to the man she loves. In my case, I guess I was in love with the thought of accepting change in my simple boring non existing lesbian life. At first, it was an overwhelming happiness for me because everything was brand new to my discriminating senses. However, life wasn’t about cakes, ponies and icings. There was always that “yang” to a “yin”, “night” to a day”, “hell” to a “heaven”. I learned about the degree of difficulty of being a lesbian especially in the urban areas because there are just plenty of lesbian fishes in the sea.

[pullquote_left]Women just come and go as easy as changing underwear.[/pullquote_left] There is no stopping to it. It is an endless competition and survival. I realized that I couldn’t live in that kind of life. Now, I prefer the “simple boring non existing lesbian life”. It is time to go home now and pursue my plans. I just have to focus now because I am almost there. It is just a matter of time. Please shoot me, if I screw this up. Anyways, at the moment, I have to force myself to wake up from this dreamy adventure because I found myself broke already. I spent a great amount of money in just a month. Despite of being broke (yes, for the first time of my life, I overspent), I learned the value of time and money more. I have to live with this obstacle of having no money for one week  before I could get back on my running feet again. Well, that’s life I guess. I am still young, plenty of rooms for mistakes. What matters is that I learn from this experience and I know that this would be my first and last time of loosening up to the point of being crazy. The bottom line is that, life is full of surprises and it is quite a paradox. We just have to live our lives to the fullest, love the people that we hold dear in our lives and learn from the mistakes we have made.


  1. I find your blogs inspiring at the same time, entertaining. For some reason, I feel like we’re pretty much on the same boat- in pursuit of that lesbian knowledge & adventure. Oddly enough, I’m a provincial lass down south embarked on a mission in a corporate jungle and that is, finding love and breaking my heart until it breaks no more.

    • Aw, that’s good to know. Anyways, I am from the province too an I am in the pursuit of starting my career. Love is a distant word for me at the moment. I’ll just wait for it. Goodluck to everyone who wishes to find true love. *evil laugh*

  2. for lack of anything better to do on this wee hours of the night, i love how i stumbled upon this site. hope floats and though the site name’s a giveaway :D, the purpose remains admirable.
    this is quite interesting especially for someone who’s been living in a bubble like me.

Leave a Reply