My Own Lesbian Survival Guide Part One

My Own Lesbian Survival Guide Part One

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Four years had passed since I decided to just dive in, with my head first, in the colorful world of being a Lesbian. It was exciting, overwhelming even, to venture and satiate such curiosity about women (which until now is a constant hunger). I became happy which is not a normal occurrence for me, that’s how I should express my feelings succinctly about everything that happened.  Without any regrets, I hold dearly all the experiences and lessons I had learned along the way, which somehow contributed to my changes. With a few obstacles I encountered from such carefree diving, I supposed to have formulated my own guide to survive in the world I chose to live. Every lesbian should have a guide, because it is a scary lesbian world out there. If you are thinking of transferring to the lesbian team, I guess this survival guide of mine could be substantial to you. Now, I hope you enjoy my own personal lesbian pointers on how to survive being a lesbian in the midst of apocalypse – rather in lesbian world.

  1. Choose Your Lesbian Circle Wisely – With the famous line, “Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are” is realistically and undoubtedly true. It is vital to choose the right lesbian friends because believe me, they can be very influential to your life (from dating, mating, partying, and even merging). It is wise to surround yourself with positive friends, keep them dearly with such loyalty because in return, they would also reciprocate such deed. Time could tell the value and quality of such friendship but no matter what, be a good friend at all times. In my case, I only accumulated a few good lesbian friends since the beginning of my metamorphosis. I don’t mind having only few lesbian friends, because what matters to me is that they are real (which is scarce nowadays). Hence, to make things simple, be wise.
  2. Low Supply of Women, High Supply of F*$&CK&#NG Lesbians – I won’t be surprised if I hear gossips about the girlfriend of a friend was having an affair with the friend’s best friend. To simply put it lesbian A is in a relationship with lesbian B however despite the years of being together, lesbian A is having an affair with lesbian C, who is the a good friend of both lesbians A and B. It is sad but it is a trending thing in the lesbian world. F*$&CK&#NG Economics, when there is a low supply of women, some lesbians morph into savage hungry p*#ssy munchers. It is inevitable but it doesn’t mean it can’t be controlled or even avoided. I also experienced a fair share of this kind of betrayal. I found out that the lesbian I newly acquainted with was trying to advance  her lesbian charm towards my supposed girlfriend at that time. It was kind of sad not because I felt threatened but because I felt sorry for such budding friendship. Now the question is, did I see myself turning into a green monster? Of course not, good thing I am blessed with an insensitive cold heart that I didn’t feel anything except that I found myself entertained when teased my girlfriend about her. F*$&CK&#NG Economics indeed!
  3. Just Another Dyke Drama – I always enjoy myself being in the background. I prefer it that way, to the point of being invisible. It is because I don’t want to be involved in any Dyke Drama, which is a normal thing in the lesbian world. One of the examples of Dyke Drama that I am talking about is the famous Lesbians brawling over a golden p*#ssy (which by now, we could imagine bottles flying and provocative cussing. I couldn’t help it, it is a perfect show for a beginner gambler like me to brainstorm who to bet on while this kind of sh*$tty drama is unfolding). I hope that golden p*#ssy is worth all the effort (I don’t mind settling for silver, you might need it when werewolves are proven to be real).  The way I see it , everything is ego play, to prove such pointless point. I guess I need to advocate more on “Spread the legs – rather love not war” in here.
  4. We Are Just One Inch Tight Lesbian Family – Lesbian A would say “Do you know ____?” and Lesbian B  would answer, “Yeah I do she is dating Lesbian C, but I also dated her a few months ago”. Lesbian A, giving a surprising look at Lesbian B and replied with “Oh! I actually had a short time affair with Lesbian C, last summer” and this conversation goes on and on. It will only support my point that the lesbian world is too small to contain all of us. Seriously. We are just one inch tight lesbian family. It isn’t a surprise that gossips and rumors could spread faster than wildfire. And also such scarcity in women is a growing problem in our world that is why incest is widely encouraged. In the lesbian world that we live in, one way to make it a better place to live is that we should always go back to the basics and reflect on our so called values, principles and even moral beliefs, before we decide something stupid.
  5. Lesbian Years Equal Dog Years – If Lesbian A would say I have been dating Lesbian B for 6 months now that means Lesbian A is dating Lesbian B for 3 and a half years (1 month in the lesbian world is equal to 7 months in the straight world). It is just very fast paced in the lesbian scene sometimes it is difficult to keep up with it. Next thing you know you are on bed with a woman you just met. Very Fast. With the advent of technology and innovation in communication, the dating scene among lesbians revolutionized and paved its way to a whole lot of possibilities.  This change somehow gave me an impression of a fast paced dating, mating and merging scenes among lesbians. Love is undervalued. Lust is easily available. You only have two options: to blend or to resist. Which is which, is the question I still ponder on.

(To be continued…)

In connection with this, I watched a video on YouTube about the Ten Rules lesbians should know of in order to survive the unpredictable waves that this lesbian would creates. It is hilarious and informative. I hope you find it a good watch. Here it is.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Hahahaha… I find this blog particularly funny, I mean I couldn’t agree more about everything you wrote. I mean, it’s true that when it all comes down to it, values still matter whether straight or gay. And I think I also choose to stay away from all the dramas because it’s rather immature, superficial and not to mention, time-consuming. I remember when I entered the lesbian world, I made a pact with myself to keep it real. Admittedly, I haven’t had a clean slate during my straight days not so long time ago. Thus, I come with a purpose to always respect women (despite them not respecting themselves) though I’m equally challenged by the love vs lust issue, I’m no saint but I definitely prefer substantial relationshps in this dog eat dog world, literally and figuratively speaking.

    • Hello there! That is good to know that you can relate to my post. Well, my lesbian life went from boring to crazy these days. Now, I am hibernating in my own little world. I just need to find myself and stay away from complicated situations. Yeah I guess all of us are in pursuit of the ideal relationship bounded in love and respect. It is not impossible but it is hard to find. Keep on swimming as what my friend told me recently like DORY in “finding nemo” haha

  2. Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me?! I am soo excited i can’t even…

    *okay, simmer down*

    I am so happy that there’s a Pinoy-run website about the lesbian community. And it all looks professional and fun. Kudos to all those women who started this.
    So, I just want to share a lil bit of my story. I’m a 21 year old femme lesbian, out and proud now. However, I really don’t know how to break into the lesbian scene here, or meet any lesbian/gay friends! I feel all alone in my gayness. How do I even meet lesbian friends and have that kind of circle? I’ve tried autostraddle, afterellen and downelink before, but none of that helped. I’ve been looking and trying hard for a long time now, I need to just have that kind of gay life like in The Real L Word or i’ll go insane! =)

    Anyway, thanks again to those who started this site, hope that it’ll be as successful (or even more successful) as Afterellen or Autostraddle.com =)

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